Ah, but then came Kim. Kardashian. Manque. Mother. Monster.
She was photographed by the crew exiting a limousine, clad in head to toe leather. And I do mean head. Helmeted. Not even eye slits. But there was a space for her ponytail to ring out to her rear. And thigh high leather stiletto boots. A suicide suit. A suit that symbolizes, "HELP ME." A suit that does not symbolize puissance but despairing pusillinamity. The ultimate, "I don't really care, do you," banner.
Not a little leather. Leather like armor. A helmet that would do Torquemada proud. A helmet to torture others, so that they couldn't see you and know who their executioner was, should they live. Which they probably wouldn't. A helmet so that a paranoid schizophrenic would believe they were invisible. Which is poor reality testing. A helmet covered in leather with no eyeholes merely indicates to others that therein lies a psychotic person, who believes, like a pre-operational child, that if I can't see you, you can't see me.
A helmet like the torturers wear so that they cannot process what they do to others.
The Spanish Inquisition was about rooting out heretics. Heretics were Spaniards who claimed they were loyal Catholic, but were secretly suspected of being Muslims or Jews.
The Inquisition didn't start in 1492. It began in 1473, with riots against Jews. It just ramped up after Queen Isabella expelled the Jews from Spain in1492. After Spain won back Spain from the Moors. In 1492.
It wasn't heresy to be a Jew. They would be executed. They were honest about who they were. It was a heresy to claim to be a Catholic and practice non-Catholic rituals. People were were suspected of practicing Kosher Laws. Observing Shabbat on Friday evening. People could be reported by their neighbors if the neighbors believed they were secretly Jews. You see the parallels to modern times. Ratting out your neighbors--perhaps out of jealousy. Perhaps for a reward. Perhaps for spite. Either way, you got your neighbors' possessions and properties.
You'd be arrested. If you didn't confess to heresy without torture, then you'd be shown the instruments of torture. The rack. The iron lady. And more. They seem cartoonish. But the pain was real. Many a person would be broken after torture and confess to heresy, guilty or not. After they confessed to heresy, they would be incinerated. But since they confessed, they could receive absolution before their execution. They would die good Catholics.
The Spanish Inquisition began in 1473. It didn't end in 1492. It ended in 1834, with a decree by Maria Cristina, a Bourbon queen. Because of the Spanish inquisition, it was a rare country that allowed Jews to be citizens. In 1793, Hungary passed an edict which allowed Jews most rights of citizens. In 1804, Napoleon passed an edict which allowed Jews to be citizens. Mostly to spite French royals. Still, it is one of the reasons Jews praise him so.
Yes children. That is the costume that Kim wears proudly to the fashion events. This is right after she posts photos weeping at how her son broke his arm. What mother drags her children cross country and then leaves them with a nanny in the hotel while professing her distress? And then dressing like a paranoid torturer. See no evil.
Yes children, that is the costume that Kim wears unconsciously while she consciously professes to be distraught at failing to pass the baby bar. (Baby bar. Baby son. Baby Kim. I'm so helpless. I can't do it). The next exam is October--this is not how a successful student passes the exam. Success at a gut exam involves devotion to the law. Not frivolous society events. No discipline Kim. Just wearing the adornments of S/m/Spanish Inquisition will not strike fear into the hearts of the test scorers (who are probably computers). We will be treated to the spectacle of Kim blaming others for her failure, while clad in the costume of the conquerers. It's nice to be Torquemada for an evening. But he has no power with the California bar.
And, on a completely different level, five hundred years later, here is the Monty Python romp with Torquemada:
The Spanish Inquisition: First Broadcast on September 22, 1970, S2E2 of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
by Monty Python
In the early years of the 16th century, to combat the rising tide of religious unorthodoxy, the Pope gave Cardinal Ximinez of Spain leave to move without let or hindrance throughout the land, in a reign of violence, terror and torture that makes a smashing film. This was the Spanish Inquisition...
(this transcript is also available with screen shots from the original)
Chapman: Trouble at mill.
Cleveland: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.
Cleveland: Pardon?
Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.
Cleveland: I don't understand what you're saying.
Chapman: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treadle.
Cleveland: Well what on earth does that mean?
Chapman: *I* don't know - Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD][The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain [Palin] enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles [Jones] has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang [Gilliam] is just Cardinal Fang]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
[The Inquisition exits]
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals burst in]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
[To Cardinal Biggles] I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Biggles: What?
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Biggles: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that...
[Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again]
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals enter]
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um....
Ximinez: Expects...
Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Spanish...um...
Ximinez: Inquisition.
Biggles: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Ximinez: Our chief weapons are...
Biggles: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Ximinez: Surprise...
Biggles: Surprise and --
Ximinez: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'
Biggles: That's enough.
[To Cleveland] Now, how do you plead?
Clevelnd: We're innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
[DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER]
Biggles: We'll soon change your mind about that!
[DIABOLICAL ACTING]
Ximinez: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ooooh! Now, Cardinal -- the rack!
[Biggles produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack. Ximinez looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. He hums heavily to cover his anger]
Ximinez: You....Right! Tie her down.
[Fang and Biggles make a pathetic attempt to tie her on to the drying rack]
Ximinez:Right! How do you plead?
Clevelnd: Innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Right! Cardinal, give the rack [oh dear] give the rack a turn.
[Biggles stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders]
Biggles: I....
Ximinez: [gritting his teeth] I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Biggles: I...
Ximinez: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Biggles: Shall I...?
Ximinez: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Biggles turns an imaginary handle on the side of the dish-rack]
[Cut to them torturing a dear old lady, Marjorie Wilde]
Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
[JARRING CHORD]
[Biggles holds out two ordinary modern household cushions]
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
[Biggles carries out this rather pathetic torture]
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
[JARRING CHORD]
[Zoom into Fang's horrified face]
Fang [terrified]: The...Comfy Chair?
[Biggles pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one]
Ximinez: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!
[They roughly push her into the Comfy Chair]
Ximinez [with a cruel leer]: Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. [aside, to Biggles] Is that really all it is?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess, woman. Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess
Biggles: I confess!
Ximinez: Not you!