The ducks are all right Holden Caulfield. As you can see, even when the lake freezes over in parts, they skirt along its edges just fine. They can act in their own behalf without any human interventions.
But what about us? Us female therapists. We're not. According to the latest stats, female therapists complete suicide over 3x the rate of the general female population. Male therapists complete suicide at the same rate as the general male population. Is that the only rational choice for us?
Look around. What do you see. At hospitals, clinics, etc--who's there? Females. Males are more likely to be in private practice, or in administration, where they are protected against ever having to have clinical hours with anybody who challenges their authority.
Females, whether professors, teachers, therapists, or doctors, are more likely to be challenged. They are more likely to get lower or more negative ratings than men with half of their competencies. Men, being scarcer than hen's teeth in clinical settings, get certain props that their female counterparts miss out on.
Administration, regardless of the gender, are more likely to emotionally beat up on the females. That is the new business model of mental health settings. You are not doing enough. You need to do more. You need to take on more. And of course these patients require therapy. The fact that they live in dangerous public housing, attend lousy schools (where they are encouraged to drop out), or are homeless--we are to ignore that. Many of these patients need lawyers, housing, access to education. They need to learn English. They need to learn to read. No wonder they are anxious. No wonder they are depressed. Tweaking their pharmaceuticals as if they were troublesome chemical equations that won't balance is cheap. And still they are troubled. They need to act. Why is it that when I recommend they get a library card for their children, when I told them the library is more like a community center these days then a Shush Palace, that libraries offer tumbling, chess, tutoring, homework help, literacy classes, etc. That all they need to get a library card is to prove their address--which can be as simple as a bill, a report card, any piece of mail, etc. And yet, they don't persist. Is it they don't want to act to have a better life? Or a different life. Therapy requires actions. Pharmaceuticals just require you to open wide. They only action they want is swallow. And most clinic patients are willing to swallow. And medical compliance only requires that they swallow. Not question. Not act. Not imagine what it would take to live in a less bleak house. Even imagining requires more activity than swallowing.
Add COVID-SARS-19 to the balance. Only it won't.
Because we are living in a time of anomie. Separating the issue of societal abandonment from the realities of mental health, physical health, and neuropsychological functioning--only you can't. Anomie--everyone alone in their room, zooming into health, education, and meetings. Who isn't falling apart. We need a societal solution, a collective corrective.
What good is living alone in your zoom, you can't live a life of hide-away. Put down the Cabernet old friend. Life can't be anomie.
More zooming isn't the answer. All doctors need to use multisensory information to arrive at the diagnosis. Imagine trying to diagnose Adrenal Insufficiency without seeing the diverse patches of skin, which a patient may or may not see. How often does the discussion of wanting more salt come into a discussion with a patient? What about the smells of depression and anxiety, let alone the aroma of a psychotic patient? Camera views may obscure the ocular signs of drug abuse/lapses.
No empathy. Probably about 1/3 of the country isn't even wearing masks. And now we are all told to do more--double mask. No privileges for those of us who have gotten inoculated even. No reinforcement pellets for you. Just added stress. More "should dos," less kudos.
Masks are not magical. Why isn't hygienic vigilence stressed? It is not just hands. Hair is very "sticky" with germs. Hats. Earbuds. Head sets. Combs. Hairbrushes. Those all need to be wiped down/cleaned every few hours. But no one talks about hygiene anymore. Somehow, it is supposed to be enough to just wipe some alcohol solution on. It is not just enough to wipe some alcohol solution on. We need to immerse our hands in soup and water solution for two minutes. A little dab won't do you. We need to spray Lysol in the room every few hours so that it mists. And leave the room while the Lysol has a chance to do its job. No one is doing that anymore. Just the masks. Adding a mask, absent the hygiene, is not enough. Hygiene, hygiene, hygiene.
And some empathy. Suicide rates for women and children are increasing. The two groups encountering the most stress and the least empathic interventions. Life can't be anomie old chum. Death always is. You will always die alone. Rage against it while you can.
And that is why we must teach the art of surviving alone, without constant companionship. Think back to the early days of the settlers, whether Puritans or pioneers. Alone, so alone, in a harsh and frozen environment. Food was scarce. Clothing had to be made--from scratch. Most individuals wore not store bought clothes like silk and linen, but a woven mixture of linen and wool--linsey-woolsey. That's how people spent their evenings--weaving, sewing, darning, keeping the fire going by chopping trees (which also became scarce at times). Embroidering, knitting. And when that was done, there were Bible verses to read and study. Everyone had a Bible to read. Everyone kept diaries (few survive). There were always periods where groups had to hide--whether Hugeonots or Jews. Anne Frank's mental health didn't deteriorate. There was constant work to be done. Read her diary. Shelling peas. Keeping the place clean. Staying quiet. There were periods of structure where the adults taught lessons--French, English, etc. There were periods where they would read responsively from Shakespeare. And of course, just periods where the young folks socialized in private or where Anne would write, not only her diary but short stories. What about "Little Women?" They are alone because of their relative poverty. Still, Jo writes stories and plays and the sisters act them out. Amy sketches. Beth plays piano. It wasn't the life they wanted or were used to. But they knew how to be active.
Productive activity. Neither children nor adults know how to productively be alone.
Read.
Draw
Write
Make music
Sew/knit/embroider/crochet/macrame.
Don't just sit there--add activity.